Not That Simple
by Kaguel4ever
Summary: Kay is picking up the peices of her life after she is raped. Please R/R
1. Default Chapter

Hope everyone enjoys this fic...and please leave feedback. ;) Remember there are lots of twists and turns coming up.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Not That Simple - Chapter 1  
  
Kay Bennett glanced at the building in front of her, taking in every detail. For a moment she just stood there in silence. This was it. Her senior year of high school. The year that some people said was supposed to be life changing. But she didn't believe a word of it. Just one look at the duo trailing along behind her told her otherwise.  
  
Charity and Miguel, their sickly sweet smiles planted firmly on their faces, were hand and hand as they walked up beside Kay. "Come on Kay," Miguel said, an impatient tone to his voice. "We don't want to be late. We still have to find our classes and everything."  
  
Kay shrugged. "You two go on ahead, I think I see Simone and I'm going to go catch up with her,"  
  
Simone was standing by the entranceway when Kay approuched her. "You look down," she commented.  
  
Kay shook her head; forcing a smile. Afterall, she didn't want to appear to be a weak person. Noone could know all the hurt she felt inside, not even her best friend. She was not used to keeping things from Simone, and it felt funny. However, over the summer the two had grown somewhat distant and she didn't want to burder Simone with her troubles.  
  
"Is it Charity and Miguel?" Simone asked, raising an eyebrow. The two girls made their way into the building, and Kay was hit with the familar feeling of dread. She was an average student at best, and she knew this year she would have to strive extra hard to stay ahead.  
  
Before Kay could spit out an anwser, Reese Durkee- her supposed boyfriend, came up behind her. Her wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered "My Sweet Kay," into her ear.  
  
Kay pretended to have some sort of a coughing fit in order to escape from his embrace. Reese gave her a confused glance at first, but then shrugged. "Must be the dust," he muttered under his breath as he turned to walk towards his pals from the computer club, who were standing by their lockers looking at him in awe. They were so amazed that a nerd like him was able to score a pretty and popular girl like Kay.  
  
Little did they know...  
  
Kay groaned in frustration, slamming her fist against a locker. Jason, a jock with blond good looks strutted past, yelling over his shoulder "How's it going, Kay-Kay?"  
  
"I think he likes you," Simone whispered when he had passed, excitement leaking into her voice.  
  
Kay struggled with the combo for her locker. "I'm not interested in him," she said simply, and that was all there was to it.  
  
Simone's eyes widened in shock. This was so unlike Kay! Her best friend was usually the type to snatch up any cute guy that she could, despite the fact that her heart would always reside with Miguel. Something was definitly up.  
  
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Kay demanded, as she gathered books into her arms; on her way to class.   
  
There was an uncomfortable silence between them for a moment, then Simone spoke up. "Jason is one of the best looking guys in school. I guess it's just not like you to be so...unmotivated. What happened to all your crazy schemes? You seem changed, somehow. I just can't put my finger on it,"  
  
"I guess I've just...grown up," Kay said with more emotion in her voice than she meant to come out. How true that statement was. If Simone only knew...  
  
But she didn't know. Nobody did, and Kay planned to keep it that way. She would never reveal the hell that had been her life for the past month. She would never reveal all the hurt, and betrayel she felt. Most of all she was scared. It was the fear that haunted her dreams at night, making her wake up shivering and covered with sweat.  
  
The worst part was that she had nobody to talk to about it. So the secret lay buried beneath long locks of raven black hair, and brown eyes with a sad tint that shouldn't be there. She knew she had to tell somebody eventually. In time it would start to show.  
  
In time they would all know that Kay Bennett was pregnant. 


	2. Chapter 2

Not That Simple - Chapter 2  
  
iOne month ago/i  
  
Kay applied a fresh coat of deep red lipstick as she gazed into the mirror at her reflection. Smiling with satisfaction, she stuffed the lipstick back into her purse and swung open the bathroom door.  
  
She was at a fancy french restraunt with, much to her distress, Reese. Miguel had talked them into doubling with him and Charity, and Kay had decided to seize the advantage. After all, it wasn't every night that you shared a romantic candlelit dinner with the boy you had been in love with for years. And Kay planned to make the most of it. Charity wasn't going to know what hit her.  
  
Kay made her way towards the table where the others were seated, enchanted by the low jazz music that filled the room. This would be a perfect first date, she thought wickedly.   
  
Miguel greeted her with a small wave of his hand when she arrived at the table, then turned his attention back on Charity.  
  
"So what's been going on while I've been gone?" Kay asked, trying her best to make conversation.  
  
Charity smiled sweetly. "Oh, Miguel and I were just discussing possible marriage once we get out of high school. We figure it's going to happen anyway, so better sooner rather than later,"  
  
iNot if I have anything to say about it, bitch!/i  
  
Kay put on a fake smile. "That's nice. You must be so happy."  
  
"We are," Miguel cut in. "I want to devote the rest of my life to Charity."  
  
Reese put his arm around Kay. "I feel the same way about you, Kay."  
  
He leaned over to plant a kiss on her lips but she was quick, and was on her feet in seconds. "Uh," she started, wiping at a wrinkle in her dress. "I don't feel so good. I think it must have been some bad roast beef or something. I'm going to call it a night."  
  
"Let me drive you home," Miguel offered, feeling a little bit guilty although he didn't know why. He hadn't done anything to upset Kay, had he?  
  
"No, Miguel, I'll just take the bus. I don't want to spoil your evening too," Kay hurried away before anything more could be said, leaving the others to pick up the tab. All she knew was that she had to get far, far away from there.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tears blurred her vision as she made her way out onto the street. She was panting for breath by the time she got to the sidewalk, and she had to stop and collect her thoughts.  
  
Most days she was in control. Most days she could just force herself to turn all the hurt and pain into negative feelings towards Charity, that was her way of dealing with things. But tonight she had just let loose; let her emotions get the better of her. Big mistake, she knew.  
  
Why couldn't it be her that was sitting beside Miguel? Why was it Charity? What was so great about Charity anyways? The questions flooded Kay's mind, but she came up without an answer.  
  
Once upon a time it had been her by Miguel's side, laughing freely and sliding in and out of conversations. She vowed to herself that she would never take for granted the comfort of friendship again, now that it had been lost. Now the conversations between herself and Miguel seemed forced and hollow.  
  
And she was crying again.  
  
Picking herself up, she wiped at her eyes until she could see clearly again. It wasn't until then that she noticed that she had stumbled into a dark alley. She was too caught up in her own pain and angst to notice where she was walking.  
  
She had to keep herself from gagging, the stench of the place was so overpowering. "Great," she muttered to herself. "Now I'm probably going to miss the bus for sure,"  
  
"I could give you a lift, sweetums," a voice cut through the darkness.  
  
Kay spun around to see where the voice was coming from, her throat tightening with fear. She could see the outline of a face, as he stepped closer she was able to see more detail.  
  
To say he was not pleasent to look at would be an understatement. He had wild, shaggy hair, which was tied back into a short stub of a ponytail. He had cruel, jet-black eyes which seemed to have lost any signs of humanity long ago. He was obviously one of those druggies, who was half glazed over; half looking for trouble.  
  
"N-no thanks, I'm meeting someone. But...uh, thanks for the offer anyways," Kay tried to keep her voice calm, as she backed away slowly.   
  
"I'm sure whoever it is can wait," the stranger pressed, moving closer to her. "I'm sure a pretty lady like yourself wouldn't want to wait out here all alone. There could be danger of some sort, know what I'm sayin'?  
  
By now he was about two feet from her, and her whole body was trembling with fear. His eyes burned into hers, as if daring her to make a move. She stood frozen to the spot. The feeling had suddenly vanished from her legs.  
  
"My Dad is a cop. Just let me pass and there will be no trouble," she finally managed to blurt out, her voice becoming a high pitched squeak.  
  
"Let's say, you and me, play a little game of cops and robbers shall we?" he took hold of her arm and yanked her to him, pressing her up against him. "That dress is very becoming of you. Is it silk?"  
  
"LET ME GO!" Kay shrieked, but the sound of her voice did not seem to even register in his head. Or he blocked it out; as he probably did all his other victims.  
  
What happened next were events that were probably never supposed to happen. It wasn't real. They weren't happening to her. There must have been some mistake; some mixup with God and he had sent her to the wrong place by accident. This wasn't Kay Bennett, crying out in pain from things she knew she shouldn't be feeling. No, there had to be some mistake. Kay was a good girl. Sure she had schemed a lot; made some mistakes. But her heart had remained untouched, still yearning for the innocence of a first kiss. Until now.  
  
Ripped dresses and blood and dirtyness were the sum of what Kay felt that night. She could never clearly remember events, only feelings. And there was a new feeling that Kay felt that night. Unlike most rape victims, she didn't feel guilty. She didn't take the pain inwards and constantly beat up on herself, convincing herself that she caused it to happen.  
  
She knew there was only one person to blame. Miguel. 


	3. Chapter 3

Not That Simple - Chapter 3  
  
Almost a month had passed since that day, and the events were still whizzing fresh in Kay's mind. She could remember it all so clearly, that sometimes it scared her. She remembered the intital shock upon hearing the news that she was pregnant with her rapist's baby, then the intense fear that followed shortly afterward, knowing that she was responsible for another human life.  
  
God, she didn't even know his name. Didn't know the monster that was the other half of her baby. What kind of child would she be having, anyways? Kay shivered at the thought.  
  
That is, if she decided to have the baby at all. She knew she was going to have to make her choice soon, as she was one month pregnant.  
  
That afternoon in English class Kay was slumped down in her seat, eyeing the back of the head of the boy, who just so happened to be Miguel. For a long time after the rape she couldn't even look at him. She knew in her heart that if he hadn't rejected her for Charity, this never would have happened.  
  
It was bittersweet, really. One moment she hated him, cursed his very name. Then the next she couldn't help but get lost in his saphire blue eyes as she felt her old feelings starting to resurface.  
  
Everytime she got morning sickness those feelings vanished. She had to make herself go numb inside, she knew it was the only way to survive.  
  
Her English teacher's loud, thundering voice broke her train of thoughts. "I think it would be nice to start off the school year with a good old fashioned debate. Anybody have any suggestions for a topic?"  
  
A girl with dark brown braids in the back row raised her hand. "How about abortion? That's always a hot issue."  
  
If you only knew how "hot", sister! Kay thought with some bitterness. This was really a topic she was not looking forward to getting into.  
  
"Okay class," the English teacher began. "Would anybody like to start? Don't you all jump at once!" He gave a half-hearted laugh at his attempt at a joke.  
  
"I think it's immoral and wrong," Charity said, tapping her pencil on the desk. She smiled sweetly over at Miguel, waiting for his approval.  
  
"I agree with Charity," Miguel's voice was trance-like, not revealing much emotion.  
  
"Objection!" Kay shouted fiercly, without meaning too. She blushed, realizing that the whole class was staring at her.  
  
"This is not a courtroom, Ms. Bennett," the teacher said sternly, but gave a slight smile. "Now, as you were saying?"  
  
"What right do we have to tell women how to handle their bodies? I mean, isn't it a woman's choice if she wants to have something growing inside her for nine months?" Kay stated, not knowing how much of that she really believed, but she knew she had to defend herself. The question is, from what? From the judgemental glare of her fellow students, or prehaps from her own guilt?  
  
"But what about the BABY'S rights?" a boy that Kay didn't know spoke up. He must be a transfer student or something, she thought, because she couldn't remember seeing him around.  
  
"So the rights of an unborn fetus are more important than the mother's?" came from the girl with the dark brown braids. Kay smiled faintly at her as if to say 'thanks for the support'.  
  
"Killing an innocent baby is the same thing as murder!" Charity said shrilly, and at that moment Kay had to stop herself from laughing out loud because Charity sounded as if she were about two years old.  
  
"I don't think using abortion as another means of birth control is right, but what if...if the details concerning the child's birth were different? Like what if the mother was raped, or-or something," Kay stammered, clenching her sweaty palms together and prayed to God that noone would suspect anything from what she had just said.  
  
"If the mother was raped," Charity voice came out like a thick patch of ice, and it chilled Kay to the bone. "It's still hers. She's stuck with it for life."  
  
On that pleasent note, the bell rang signaling that it was time for lunch. Kay breathed a sigh of relief, happy to be finally out of that classroom and away from Charity's icy stare. Scooping up her books quickly, she headed for the door, not bothering to look back at Charity or Miguel.  
  
Kay had too much else on her mind to deal with the two of them. She knew what she had to do. 


	4. Chapter 4

Not That Simple - Chapter 4  
  
Things at lunch that afternoon were tense. Kay shifted some pasta around on her plate with her fork, not hungry enough to eat anything. She glanced at Simone, Miguel, Charity, and Reese who were absorbed in some trivial conversation about football.  
  
Usually she would have joined in, but right now she didn't feel like she had the energy. Everything seemed to take a lot of effort these days.  
  
"Kay? Kay?" Miguel's voice was filled with concern, and for a moment it pulled her out of her depressing state. Then she noticed that his arm was lazily draped around Charity's shoulders.  
  
"Is something wrong Kay? You haven't eaten a thing, and this is your favorite dish. Something's up," The voice of her best friend was equally filled with concern. Good old Simone. Through all of her crazy schemes Simone still hung around with loyality that began at their old sandbox days. The days of youth, long forgotten now.  
  
Kay wished she could tell Simone the entire truth. It would be nice to have a shoulder to cry on in the eternal blackness that was now her life. But the pain was still fresh and it burned every time she spoke of it.  
  
Kay made a face. "I think there's some moldy cheese on it or something,"  
  
"If you don't want it, I'll eat it for you, Kay," Reese offered, and then, without giving Kay a chance to respond he grabbed her plate and shoved a big forkfull of pasta into his mouth. He chewed hungerily and when he was finished Kay couldn't help but laugh. Reese would eat anything that was put in front of him.  
  
"Don't blame me if you get food poisoning," she told him with a smirk.  
  
"Kay, are you sure YOU are not the one with food poisoning?" Charity asked with mock concern as she took a bite of her cheese sandwich. "You aren't acting like yourself. You totally bit my head off in English class. What was that all about, anyways?"  
  
"You mean the difference of opinion?" Kay shrugged. "No big deal. Let's forget about it."  
  
But Charity wouldn't let up. "I always thought you were pro life. You know what the church taught us..."  
  
"Isn't a girl allowed to change her mind?" Kay snapped, unshed tears springing to her eyes. She ducked her head down, not wanting the others to see how emotional she was. "Uh, I think I'm going to go freshen up. I'll be right back."  
  
She pulled back her chair from the table and ran out of the lunchroom with a blithering speed. Simone just watched in silence, with her mouth hanging open. She had never seen her best friend behave this way. Kay usually had it together.  
  
"I'm going to go after her," Simone said after a silence-filled minute.  
  
Reese pushed his glasses up on his nose. "I'll go with you," he offered with a lopsided smile.  
  
"Man, you can't go into the girl's room!" Miguel said slapping Reese on the back. "Nice try though,"  
  
"Yeah, it was worth a shot."  
  
Simone shook her head at the boy's perverted conversation. She rose from her seat and headed to the bathroom to find Kay.  
  
When she arrived all she could hear was a faint whimpering noise coming from one of the stalls. Instantly she knew it was Kay, trying to surpress her sobs. She debated if she should say anything at all, knowing that Kay hated anyone to see her cry.  
  
Finally she made a tentative tap on the stall door. A moment later Kay's tear stained face appeared. Wiping at her face frantically, Kay tried to appear as if nothing had happened.  
  
"Kay, what is wrong with you?" Simone asked, searching Kay's eyes for a shred of truth. "Come on, we've been tight since childhood, you don't have to pretend with me."  
  
Kay felt her chest tighten and a burning sensation crept over her whole body. "It-it's," she started to say, but the room was starting to turn fuzzy and everything was a blur. She grabbed hold of the side of the sink to steady herself.  
  
"I was raped," was all she managed to say before she dissolved into a puddle of tears.  
  
***  
  
It was about 15 or so minutes later and Kay had spilled the entire story to Simone. She had to admit it felt good to get all that off her chest, and to have someone to confide it.  
  
"So what are you going to do?" Simone asked, a worried expression on her face. The truth had hit her hard, she couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. She couldn't believe that Kay was carrying around that awful burden for so long with nobody to talk to.  
  
"I don't know, Simone. I mean, I do, but I don't know if I can go through with it. I can't stand the thought of carrying that bastard's baby."  
  
"Maybe you should tell your parents before you do anything rash," Simone suggested timidly. She knew that her friend must be going through hell, but she couldn't let her do anything that she would regret for the rest of her life. She owed it to their 14 years of friendship.  
  
Kay started pacing back and forth nervously. "You know my Dad, he would force me to press charges against the guy...who-who raped me. And Simone...I-I don't think I could stand to look at his face again." Kay's voice trembled and those unshed tears started to fall. Simone just stood there, a little akward, not really knowing what to do. She wasn't trained for this sort of thing.  
  
The bell rang just then signaling that it was time to head back to class. "This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life. Ha. What a joke."  
  
Simone gave her a quick hug just then, and Kay was truly touched. It wasn't too often that Kay recieved any kind of affection.  
  
"Take care of yourself, okay?" Simone said before leaving for class.  
  
"Okay," was Kay's tiny, distant reply.  
  
For some time afterwards Kay just stood there, alone in the empty bathroom. Trying to find some quick answer to the problems the haunted her. She realized there weren't any. She was going to have to face this problem head on without anybody by her side.  
  
But you have to do it, Kay, she told herself firmly. You have to be strong.  
  
She skipped class that day. Too many overwhelming thoughts were invading her mind, she knew she would never concentrate on school work.  
  
She walked out into the brisk cool breeze that day with a plan. A plan that would change the course of her life forever. 


	5. Chapter 5

Not That Simple - Chapter 5  
  
Kay tied her hair back in a messy ponytail as she crept up the stairs, trying not to disturb her parents who were watching television in the next room. They musn't know what she was up to or it would be the end of her plan for good.  
  
She had spent most of the early afternoon in the park, soaking up the warm sunlight and enjoying the quiet and blissful peace that surrounded Harmony. All her life she had taken that for granted, claiming that she wanted adventure and excitement. Well, she got her wish all right, but in the worst way possible.  
  
She thought a lot in the park. Sitting on her favorite wooden bench, she viewed the large stone foutain and the pathways paved with flowers. It helped calm her; set her mind at ease a little. She wished she could say that it had helped a lot, but with her impending doom growing near nothing could stop the panic that tugged at her heartstrings.  
  
Even now, alone in her bedroom as she quickly packed her suitcase, throwing in t-shirts and jeans here and there, knowing that she was going to have to sacrafice some things because she had to travel light.  
  
Stopping for a second, she glanced over at the small pictureframe which resided on her bedside table. Inside was a simple photograph of herself, Miguel, Charity, Jessica, Reese and Simone at the beach. They had wide smiles and goofy grins plastered on their faces and it was all so innocent and blissfully normal that Kay wanted to puke.   
  
Had she known, that in just a few weeks time her life would turn upside down maybe she would have done things differently. Maybe she would have told those whom she loved how much they ment to her, instead of casting them aside for superficial matters. It all seemed so trivial now that she was gone.  
  
Or she would be, in a day's time. This time tomorrow she would be aboard a bus, on her way to a city far, far from Harmony where she would build a new life. She couldn't face the shame. She knew mentally that the rape wasn't her fault, that she shouldn't feel shame, but she did. And the worst part of all was that she felt rage. Complete and utter rage at those around her. Sometimes the rage would get so intense that she would spend hours punching into her feather soft pillow at night.  
  
Kay sighed, as she looked around at the mess that was her life. Being a single mom in a strange town scared the hell out of her, but she knew in the long run that it would be better for herself and her child. Besides, they never wanted her anyway.  
  
They being, her parents, Miguel, and most recently her friends. One by one they all fell away from her, try as she might to hold onto them. Even before the incident, she could see signs of them moving on. And who did they move on to? The person she hated most in the world: Charity.  
  
Charity was like a vulture that had swooped in on her life and stole every piece of meat available, leaving Kay with rotten decayed scraps.  
  
Before her rage could build any farther, the phone rang and she lunged for it. She had to get to it before Charity did, in case it was Miguel. She had to say goodbye to him, in her own little way, even though she couldn't tell him that she was leaving. It was going to be tricky.  
  
"Hello?" she breathed rapidly into the phone, waiting for a reply.  
  
Sure enough, it was Miguel, calling his Sweet Charity the minute he had returned from school.  
  
"She's not home from school yet," Kay was actully telling the truth this time. Charity and Jessica had headed to The Book Cafe after school to plan for their school's next fundraiser, and wouldn't be home for a few hours. "Uh, Miguel, I know this is short notice, but do you think you could come over?"  
  
"Sure Kay, but may I ask what for?"  
  
"Oh, to, you know. Talk. Do you remember when we were younger? It was hard to keep you away from this place. Actully, not much has changed, except the reason you come," Kay gave a bittersweet laugh, reflecting back on their friendship, the way it used to be.  
  
"Yeah, I have Charity now, and you have Reese. A lot has changed," he said softly. "Anyways, I'll be over in about half an hour, because I still have to put dinner on. I'll see you then,"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"And Kay?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I think you're a great girl, and a great friend. Don't forget that."  
  
"It's hard not to be forgotten," Kay said whistfully.  
  
Miguel didn't know what to say to that. He paused for a moment, then finally spoke. "I guess I'll see you in a little bit."  
  
"Goodbye Miguel."  
  
"Goodbye Kay."  
  
There was a click and then there was silence. A deafening silence. Kay stood holding the phone, a void expression painted on her face. Suddenly she realized what she must do. What she should have done from the beginning.  
  
She quickly took out a pad of paper, grabbed a pen, and began writing. The words flowed to her with ease, and within ten minutes she had several pieces of paper in which to lay ontop the counter for when they returned.  
  
A moment later she was down the stairs, her suitcase lagging at her side. She peaked into the living room, making sure her parents were still there. They hadn't even moved.  
  
She slapped the notes on the countertop and was out the door, looking back only once at the place she had called home for the last seventeen years. It was not the same. The paint had started to peal, some of the ferns were wild and unkept. And it didn't have the same homey sense to it anymore. The place where she, Miguel and Simone used to play in the swimming pool in the backyard was long sense forgotten. It was not the same.  
  
She was not the same. It was time to move on from Miguel, from her old life. Something she should have done awhile ago. It was true Miguel had once played a great role in her life and she was greatful for that. But they had both changed so much - they were not the same people that could talk with ease to each other on the phone for hours. That scared and yet relieved her. It scared her because she didn't want to leave the safety net of his friendship and it relieved her because it ment she was finally growing up, finally growing away from the person she used to be.  
  
"Maybe the child won't turn out so screwed up afterall," Kay mumbled to herself on the way to the bus station.  
  
As she boarded the bus, she took one last look at Harmony, at the place that made her who she was. And she smiled.  
  
"Good-bye Miguel Lopez Fitzgerald. I won't forget."  
  
THE END 


End file.
